Monday, June 4, 2012

Dear _____,

ROTC, we're sorry we said anything about you running past our house and being noisy before the sun  comes up. We did not know you read our blog and did not mean to offend. Is that the reason why you ran past our house twice before 6 AM? If so, we will not mention you again.

Tile Floors, I love you and I loathe you. You are sooo easy to clean and my kids can rollerblade and ride their bikes and scooters on top of you all day long. But you cause the destruction of so much, children's heads when they fall on you daily. And our electronics and glass items...which lose all hope of survival if we drop them on you from mere inches it seems. If you could just stay easy cleaning, but not as hard as concrete, that would be great.

American News Anchor, His name is NOT "Puh-kay-o".  Goodness, we're embarrased for you. He is Manny Pacquiao. You say it: "Pak-yaw", (as in, "Yaw! That hurt when you punched me!") He is the best pound-for-pound boxer in the universe at the moment.  He is from the Philippines. But he will soon be coming to a theater near you in the US. So get it right.

Stores with Stereos, How can you play Christian music my grandmother would approve of one minute, then explicit rap that would make the average sailor blush the next? Please rethink your playlist.

Creme Brulee, The joy you put in our hearts is beyond a simple culinary description. You are probably the best thing to come from France since smelly cheese and the Eiffel Tower.

Facebook Friends who invite us to join games and communities and other etceteras, Thank you. We love you. We are not going to defriend you, though we may block your apps. We already live in Crazyville. We do not have time for Farmville.

Electric Company, please stop teasing us. We finally felt like the brownout phase of our relationship was over. We had great power. Then, with no warning and no volts. We don't feel that we are building trust in this relationship. The sparks are there, but inconsistency can be the death of a long-term partnership.

Fast Runners, Thanks for making me look bad in front of my dog... Now, he really doesn't appreciate my slow run.

Rain. Rain, Go away. come again, just not every every single day! (Oh wait, I guess they call it RAINY SEASON for a REASON.)

Gardenia Bush Outside My Front Door, your smell is like a whiff of heaven's garden. Thank you for making my day better just by blooming.

Dog of mine, I figured you would sniff my new motorcycle cover a little, maybe even chew it a bit. Did you seriously have to grab on with your impressively strong jaws attached to an impressively large head with an impressively microscopic brain and pull my motorcycle over on the concrete? Just asking.

1 comment:

Gran'ma said...

Such fun! Love it. :>) Oh, and we have tile floor, too. As you say anything glass or fragile is done for if dropped. :>(