One day away from 38 weeks...
One of the most joyous parts of pregnancy is sharing your joy with the world.
The problem is, everyone in the world often wants to share that joy with you. That would be great if they said inane things like, “Congratulations!”
“Mazel Tov.” Or,
“Wow. It looks like you’re going to have a beautiful baby…Oh, you’re having twins/a boy/ a girl? That’s great/wonderful.”
But usually they don’t. In between having total strangers rub your belly as if it is now public property, the multiple comments tend to leave a bit to be desired, maternally speaking.
Especially when you’re carrying twins. Here are a few excerpts: (Disclaimer: Ok, I know people are just trying to be nice, and they aren't hurting my feelings, but it' still kind of funny.)
“There’s something wrong with your babies. You’re too small. You need to get them checked out.”
“You’re really big. My daughter wasn’t that big.” (It might be worth mentioning that the daughter had one baby.)
“You’re carrying so high they can’t possibly be boys.”
“You’re carrying really low.”
“ You look like you have a basketball/watermelon/beach ball in there.”
“You’re really huge.”
“Your belly goes straight out.”
“You don’t look like you have two in there.”
“You look like you’re about ready to pop.”
“Were you due yesterday or last week?”
“You’re going to deliver really soon…I can tell by the way you’re walking.”
“That’s a lot of baby.”
“Glad it’s not me.”
(overheard) “Oh my gosh. I’m gonna look like that!”
“You look really miserable. I know how you feel.” (This is one of the most common ones, heard everywhere from Wal-Mart to the McDonald’s drive-thru window.)
While shopping at Target: Three women in their sixties pointing and staring and laughing.
Also, same trip to Target: “You look like you’re about to tip over.” (This was accentuated with a hand-sweeping motion.)
Still in Target: “Your belly is lopsided.”
By a man to my husband, thankfully not at Target: “Has she dilated at all?”
You know people are just trying to make a connection with you, but sometimes you wish they wouldn’t. These are the non-funny ones…
Several times: “I was a twin. My twin died at birth/only lived a few days.”
“My first babies were twins but the first one died early on and then gangrene set in.”
“My mom had five sets of twins and five singletons.” (Any mom or dad out there has to admit that’s not very funny.)
So, to everyone out there who wants to have a connection with the pregnant woman (and most of us do. Who isn’t excited about new life?) Just say: “Congratulations.”
Or, my personal favorite:
“Wow. It looks like you’re going to have a beautiful baby…Oh, you’re having twins/a boy/ a girl? That’s great/ wonderful.”
So, memorize those four lines, and you’ll make every pregnant woman you see a little happier.
Just make sure that she’s actually pregnant first.